


The Lane I Travel

by spierfics



Series: Spierfeld AU Collection [74]
Category: Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22176208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spierfics/pseuds/spierfics
Summary: yourefucked-thebitchofliving on tumblr prompted: could you pretty please do one where bram has an anxiety attack for the first time and doesn’t realize what’s happening but he’s scared? And like Simon immediately knows what’s up and comforts him?
Relationships: Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier
Series: Spierfeld AU Collection [74]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1010772
Comments: 9
Kudos: 139





	The Lane I Travel

Bram had no idea how his day could possibly get any worse but knew if he could just get through his last class and soccer practice he’d make it through the day. That was the only thing that mattered right now, making it through the day.

Though he didn’t have much to go home to either. His mother was out of town for the entire week, and the house had eerie loneliness to it. He’d ask Simon to come over, but Simon’s parents had subtly mentioned that Simon’s grades had been slipping due to the fact that he was always distracted.

Bram knew he was to blame for that. He was to blame for everything.

* * *

Simon didn’t have too much faith in his ability to pick up on small cues, as Leah had often implied. But he knew there was something wrong with Bram. He’d not been texting him as often, and perhaps it was the end of the semester and Bram was pushing to get all A’s. He understood Bram’s need to excel, it was one of the things he loved most about his boyfriend, but the fact of the matter was that Simon simply missed him.

They’d usually meet in the school parking lot on Fridays and Simon decided to leave rehearsal early to catch a little bit of Bram practicing. Simon knew that watching Bram playing soccer would settle his heart a little.

As he made his way to the empty bleachers he caught sight of Bram, and if Simon was honest, Bram seemed a little off his game. After a few minutes, Simon saw Bram miss a pass from Garrett and that set something off. Simon was off his seat and running on the pitch without a second thought.

* * *

Bram had no idea what was happening to him, all he could think of was the ‘C-‘ he’d just received in History and after that, he didn’t want to think. If he thought too much, he knew his emotions could take over, and that was not okay. Especially not at school. Not where every act of his was only thought in parallel relation to his sexuality. No, he wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of defining who he was.

But missing that pass from Garrett had caused his coach to yell at him to “Focus or get off the field!” and Bram froze in place. Every thought he’d been trying to push aside this entire week came crashing down at once.

Not being smart enough to get the grades to get into college.

Not achieving the scholarships he envisioned.

Not making his parents proud.

Not being a good boyfriend to Simon.

There was too much around him and nothing at all and Bram couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know how to breathe anymore and Bram was sure this was what drowning felt like.

He felt a small pressure squeezing his forearm and when he looked up Simon was right there in front of him. Simon then put both his hands on Bram’s cheeks, cradling his face and told him to breathe deeply.

He even acted it out slowly, his thumb on Bram’s cheekbone, brushing it gently to the rhythm of his breaths.

Bram didn’t realize when, but he’d started to take in some air. He felt his shivering stop and his heart rate slow.

“I’m okay,” he said quietly to Simon.

“I don’t think so Bram,” Simon shook his head, his hands still holding Bram’s face. “Come on, I’ll drive you home,”

* * *

Once Simon was sure Bram was carefully tucked into bed and comfortable enough to be left alone for a few moments he went to the kitchen and made Bram a cup of Chamomile tea, just like Simon’s father would make for him.

He wasn’t sure if Bram would take honey, so he just decided to put some in any way since it tasted better with it.

When he walked into Bram’s room, his boyfriend was sitting up in bed with a worried expression on his face. “You didn’t have to do that,” he told Simon.

“But I wanted to,” Simon set the tray on Bram’s side table and slid under the covers next to Bram.

He opened his arms and invited Bram to lay his head on his chest, a swap of their usual cuddling position, but Simon knew exactly how comforting it was.

As Bram lay his head on Simon’s chest, Simon reached down to give him a small kiss on his forehead.

“I know how it can feel like too much sometimes,” Simon said to him softly.

Bram took a deep breath in, almost refusing to exhale and Simon felt like he was holding in too much for one person to bear.

“And even though you feel like you don’t want to stress me out with all that’s going on in your head, I’m still gonna be here to listen, okay?”

Bram let out a choked ‘okay’ in response and Simon noticed a tear fall down Bram’s cheek.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong,” Simon continued, “but you can tell me when you need me because I want to be there for you. Just like you’re there for me,”

Bram shifted his position, sitting up a little so that he could wrap his arms around Simon and bury his head in his shoulder. Simon could tell by his shaking that Bram was about to cry, and it took all of his willpower to not cry with him. There were times where he needed to be the one that was grounded, this was one of them.

He rubbed Bram’s back, allowing him to let go of everything he’d been holding back for what seemed like too long. Right now all he had to do was hold on tight. To make sure that Bram knew that if he felt like he was falling, Simon would be there to catch him.


End file.
